It is always wonderful to have parents write poems or stories about their baby, because so many true feelings come through. After our Memorial Service a couple of different moms/grandma’s had written poems and they said it was okay to put them in the Newsletter. Poetry is a way of journaling and venting.
Always Our Baby
You were not planned, but how we wanted you.
You were not held, but we touched you.
You were called tissue, but we called you our baby.
You no longer had a heartbeat, but our hearts still beat for you.
You may be gone, but we will never forget you.
You now live with the Angels, but we are your family.
You never got to know us, but we knew you.
No, you were not planned, but oh how we loved you.
Love MOM and Dad
You Are In My Heart
Baby Jordan you are in my heart
Although I didn’t get to hold you
I saw your little hands and feet
You will be in heaven within my mom’s arms
Until I get there to hold you close
Baby Jordan you are in my heart
I think of things that would have been
I ache inside and then I cry
You were loved so much
Even though you were not meant to be
Baby Jordan you are in my heart
Enjoy your time in heaven
My mom will take good care of you
With hugs and kisses all day long
I can’t wait to see you and hold you tight
Baby Jordan you are in my heart
Waiting for you to come, made me
Very happy and excited to be your Grandma
So know even if you are not here
You brought me so much happiness this year.
Love Grandma Calmes
A Tiny Hand
A tiny hand we’ll never hold.
A child without a name.
Your coos and giggles
Won’t touch our ears,
But we love you just the same.
The twinkle in your little eyes,
Was not for us to see.
We longed to hold you in our arms,
But it never came to be.
God now holds your tiny hand,
He’s given you a name.
Your coos and giggles grace Heaven’s ears,
But we’ll miss you just the same.
The twinkle in your little eyes,
Now lights the sky at night.
God holds you close in loving arms,
You are always in His sight.
A tiny hand we’ll never hold,
We have no reason why?
But we’ll always hold you in our hearts,
Even though we said good-bye.
The death of a baby is like a stone cast into the stillness of a quiet pool; the concentric ripples of despair sweep out in all directions, affecting many, many people. (DeFrain, 1991)
The quiet snowflakes flutter down on Christmas Eve, tomorrow our Infant Jesus was born. We celebrate his birthday. However, if recently your baby died and if it is on the anniversary of your infant’s death, or close to Christmas, it isn’t so easy to enjoy the celebration. Sometime the beauty of the Christmas service does bring some peace and healing to you. Some people do not want to celebrate at all. It is too painful. As the years pass, you will come to terms with you infant’s death, and it won’t be so difficult to enjoy many celebrations again, especially Christmas. It is such a wonderful time of the year. People for the most part, seem to be in better moods, and just by saying “Merry Christmas, Happy New Year”, it changes everything around you. However, when you have recently had an infant loss, it takes more than jovial people to cheer you up. Many times, you need to change your Christmas traditions. If you always went to Aunt Mary’s, maybe this year you choose to stay home. You might want to have a quiet day at home reflecting on your baby. You might feel if you have other children, you want to make this day as pleasant as you can for them, because you know they have been very aware that “mommy and daddy” are sad. Maybe it is the time for new traditions. You can give to a local charity in memory of your baby. Often charities that give gifts to children make you feel better if you give to another child. Maybe you spend the time away from family and home and just do something new. As I said in the last letter, you can be selfish about what you do. No one can know what is best for you, but you! However, do remember that the New Year will bring new circumstances into your life. Hopefully many will be wonderful things, and possibly even the birth of another child. From the poems in this newsletter, your baby is never forgotten. Your time and memories of your baby can not be taken from you. My wish for you is that your Holidays will be just what you want them to be, no matter what this is.
Have a Blessed and Wonderful Christmas-----Lucy