Life is Change------Growth is Optional
We grow through many seasons.
One blends into the other like the strands
Of a braid. It is not possible to separate
Them without spoiling how
Beautifully they flow together.
We too, are a blend of so many pieces.
Some of our needs are out of season.
Some of our wounds still ache to be healed.
So many buds await to be blossomed.
We move through the seasons together.
Each cycles at his or her own pace.
Yet each is a part of the other.
In time a pattern appears,
Woven by the choices we have made.
( Karen Kaiser Clark)
Group may be on hold for the present time, so please call before the meeting to make sure it is still going to happen. (Within a few days prior to the date is sufficient.) Rebecca is not going to be here any more, and we are trying to work out a way of continuing group, because we do feel it is very important. We will continue with the second Tuesday of the month in the Pastoral care conference room, at 6:30 pm.
At the National Perinatal conference in October, we had a very unusual speaker who spoke of “spirit babies.” She herself had lost a baby, and others in the room had also had losses. A number of moms told of their experience with the baby that died. One of the moms told how her baby came to her in a dream when she was pregnant again, and assured her that this pregnancy would go well. The speaker told her story on how she wanted some sign that her baby was “okay”. It took her awhile before she noticed that every time she thought of her baby, which was usually when she was outside, that a Monarch butterfly would fly around her head. When she was driving down the road one day with her car window open, and the tears of grief started to consume her, a Monarch butterfly flew in the window and around her head. It was then that she finally understood, her spirit baby was trying to let her know that he was okay. She told the story to her husband who was very skeptical about the butterfly, until one day as he was mowing the lawn, thinking about the baby, a Monarch butterfly started flying around his head. No matter which way he turned, the butterfly followed. The comfort that he felt was overwhelming, and he also became a believer. This is how the organization WINGS was started: one of the many organizations for parents who suffer the loss of an infant.
It’s a very interesting theory that our “spirit babies” do try to contact us in the afterlife. Many psychics believe they can contact your spirit baby and for some people this may be a wonderful way to help with the healing process. Others parents are content to know that their baby is in “heaven” or whatever their beliefs of after life are.
Losing someone you love is always a terrible thing. No matter how philosophical we are about death and no matter how much we are convinced there is an afterlife, it is always a dreadful blow. The hardest loss of all is surely the loss of a child. Most occasions the spirit child is able to communicate despite the walls of grief and despair built around the parents. Often a deceased relative is aiding the child. The communicating spirit lets us know he or she is with the child, but the child will also experience a wonderful world especially designed for children. The medium Doris Stokes who lost a baby herself, often spoke of these children as the lucky ones. Unlike us, they do not have to suffer the problems of life. They come to us for a short while, experience our love, then return to a better place.
In this article it states the children that have died continue their heavenly life in the same form as they had on earth. They remain as children and grow in the spirit. This state will not last indefinitely but these souls need to experience innocence while in the ethereal state. When a child shows the spirit via medium-ship, they appear to the medium as the parents knew them at the time they died. I found this statement quite interesting: the soul of an aborted child continues to live in the afterlife. There is no chastisement by the spirit communicator for what had been done. There is an understanding of the circumstances that resulted in termination. It is a tremendously anguished decision that is made and many women carry a burden of guilt throughout their lives. The spirit people understand these painful feelings and do not stand in Judgment. They instead reassure us the soul of the baby continues. If there is an instinctive sense of love, then the soul of the parents and the child will be linked. In the afterlife, many angels walk with these spirit babies and help with the development of these innocent souls. There is great love in this place and they are able to share the thoughts and feelings of their earthly family.
(Some of this article was taken from a book written by Craig Hamilton-Parker)
I wish I could remember more of the mother’s stories that were told that day. I do not know if I believe everything written by this person and other mediums, but I think anything that we can feel about our babies being loved and in a better place, or being able to communicate with them, it will help us in our healing.
The Gift by Karen Kaiser Clark
“I can give you things to use
and toss away, objects of finished
beauty to touch, see, put on a shelf
to admire and to dust.
I can send you exotic flowers
And fruits out of season that die
As they arrive.
I can fashion for you responses to the
Wonders of hand and mind,
Art, music, clay or paint---or---
I can give you the gift of myself
Crudely formed, never finished
With needs out of season.
Ever fumbling, searching as though
Someone, learning, practiced on me
While planning the universe
---then sidetracked---
Leaving the discover of me
Up to you.”