The Holidays are over with ---with a sigh of relief. It’s wonderful to get together with family, but sometimes it gets too hard to be happy through the celebrations when you have had a loss. But, now it is the new year--- you have a lot to look forward to. The ache in your heart will get a little less with each passing day. You will want nice things to be in your life, and not have sadness take up so much time. Getting back to your job can be difficult, and you will find people who will talk to you about the baby and others who are so afraid of hurting you, they say nothing. Many of the people who do talk to you have gone through similar circumstances, so they can relate well. As the dreary Winter months slowly go by, remember Spring is around the corner. Better sunshine, more light in the day. The start of the green grass shooting up from the ground, and your perennials starting to peak their heads through, will make the whole world more tolerable. Enjoy a new start and a new year.
Cherish yesterday, (Seen on a plaque in Gift shop)
Dream tomorrow,
Live today!
It gives us the path to follow as we go through life
Starting with the New Year.
Life can be too short!
Live each day as if it would be your last.
Take the time to tell those close to you
That you love and appreciate them.
My Quest by Shannon Olson (taken from Sharing Newsletter 2006)
We needed time out alone together. We decided on a comforting place, a little Italian hole in the wall that we both had grown up going to. Even our customary waitress had known both of us and our families since we were little. Mary came up to us and started to take our order. It was then that she noticed. I wasn’t pregnant any longer. “Oh, wow, you had the baby!” “What did you have?” her excitement was so genuine that I almost didn’t want to tell her. But I found that the words came pouring out of my mouth almost like someone else was speaking for me. “We had a little girl—but she died.” Mary became red in the face. Her eyes welled up and she couldn’t say another word. She walked away, looking as heart broken as we felt. When she came back, she told us how very sorry she was that we had lost our little Carol Lynn. We shared with Mary—the very first non-family member what had happened to our baby. When we finally left, I felt so much better. I told someone that I had a baby. A little girl. She died, but Ron and I could talk about her. It was painful, but we were okay, we could talk about her.
Thus began my Quest. I told unprepared cashiers at the store I was in. Not that I just blurted it out, but if they asked if I had a child, I could tell them. I told people that came to the door. I told salesmen, and I told everyone that I came into contact with about Carol Lynn. I am sure some, if not all the people I told, thought I was crazy. I didn’t care. I saw many times over and over the invisible “wall” that went up as soon as I combined “baby” and “died” in the same sentence. Still, I didn’t care. I had friends and family tell me flat out to stop talking about Carol Lynn so much. I didn’t stop, nor was I ever going to. Anyone that came to know Ron or me, also came to know Carol Lynn. We have friends that didn’t know us when we lost our sweet baby girl. They have shared with us that they feel they know her spirit now because we have been so open with them.
These are people who didn’t know nor really think they wanted to know our baby and her sad story. But, I kept talking and they stopped thinking that I was a crazy person, and the invisible wall came down. They came to realize that Carol Lynn didn’t always mean for us “Heartache.” (Will continue in my next Newsletter the conclusion of this story.)
Have you ever felt like you would like to tell the whole world about your baby?
Have you ever felt that they should stop and listen to you, no matter what?
Now, you know these can be normal feelings!
Through this child we experienced joy and sorrow, laughter and tears. Through all this,
Our lives have been enriched!
Love is beyond the touch of death and the love for a child remains with us for the rest
Of our lives!