We have a theme for our May Memorial Service: Winds of Change; Whispers of Hope.
We feel that our Memorial services are very important, as well as our monthly Group meetings. However, the Group meetings are still on hold for the present time, but we are hoping to start Group up again in the near future. Paying Tribute to all the babies that have died in the past year and years brings hope to all of us. Remember anyone is welcome to the service whether the loss was recent or in the past. Family and friends are welcome as well. The big change in the service this year is the day of the week. We have Chaplain Rita helping us with the service, so the night she is available is the Thursday of the first week in May. Everything continues the same: 7 P.M. starting in the hospital chapel, with our walk to the cemetery after the short service and then returning for refreshments and a chance to visit and talk about your baby and add your baby to the Memory Quilt. RSVP is preferred, but if it is a last minute decision to come, you are still very welcome. THURSDAY MAY 7th, 2009. A change in the night might be an opportunity for some of you who have not come for a while because Monday night did not work out for you.
I’m not sure this newsletter will get out in time but if perchance it does, I want to tell you about a seminar that is going to be held in Eau Claire on March 24th, 2009, at the Sacred Heart Center, which is next to Sacred Heart hospital. Harold Coushner who wrote “When Bad Things Happened to Good People” and other books on grief, will be guest speaker. It is free, however pre-registration is required, but this will be very close to the date, so hopefully they will still have room. The number for registration is 715-717-6028.
“Those Who Laugh—L A S T” by Karen Kaiser Clark
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs, jolted by every pebble in the road.” –Harold Coffin
“We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.”—The Talmud
“Life is a series of unscheduled events to solve a series of non-anticipated interruptions.” Karen Kaiser Clark
“People are about as happy as they decide to be.” Abraham Lincoln
“Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”—George Bermard Shaw
“Healthy humor creates a non-threatening bond between those who share it. It results in positive feelings on the part of all persons.” Karen Kaiser Clark
“The shortest distance between two people is laughter.” –Victor Borge
“You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.”—Chinese Proverb
The NICU Baby—taken from Margo Charchuk
We often wonder as staff why the parents might not see how sick their baby is in the NICU unit, and the possibility of their imminent death. However, Loyalty is often one of the predominant emotions parents experience in the vulnerability of their ill infant, and hope is one of the ways parents can express this feeling of loyalty. When we hope for a loved one’s recovery from illness, we are affirming our relationship to that person. Loyalty demands Hope! If these parents lose hope it is like betraying or reneging on a commitment, to fail to keep one’s part of the bargain. If we hope and are disappointed, it may be painful, but it does not need to be self-destructive; our hope will have been worth the effort because it allows us to feel that we have remained committed to our child. This gives parents the opportunity to feel they have some small aspect of their child’s health in their hands. Most parents want to participate in the care of their infant, no matter how trivial. Even if the Health care provider do not share the same hope with the parents, they need to recognize the importance of “hope” for the parents. When your infant was in the NICU unit, and you had these strong feelings of Hope and Loyalty, remember you were in the right to have these feelings.
Springtime is a time of many changes! Our grief often goes through many changes in the Spring. Just as the flowers begin to peak their stems through the earth, and the sun becomes brighter and warmer, our hearts can feel these changes and lift our spirits. Easter is a beautiful part of our Spring. Though filled with many church services, each one is unique and a healing service, and to many who have had losses, these services might have very special meaning for you. I’m not sure how people who do not believe in a loving God can get through their grief without him. Sharing your grief with our Savior Jesus Christ, can help you through your grief. What a better time of year than to lay all your grief at his feet and ask him to help you understand the loss of your baby.
Mother’s Prayer by Judy Gordon Morrow
“Help me, Lord, that others may not see
The bitter tears I cannot hide from Thee.
Help me, Lord, that I may learn to smile
Although my heart is breaking all the while.
Let me learn to question not Thy will.
Oh, Lord please give me faith my fears to still!
The dreams I once held dear can never be,
But I can build new dreams with help from Thee.”
Amen!
Life’s Lessons—author unknown
I learn, as the years roll onward
And leave the past behind,
That much I had counted sorrow
But proves that God is kind;
That many a flower I had longed for
Had hidden a thorn of pain,
And many a rugged bypath
Led to fields of ripened grain.
The clouds that cover the sunshine
They cannot banish the sun;
And the earth shines out the brighter
When the weary rain is done.
We must stand in the deepest shadow
To see the clearest light;
And often through wrongs’ own darkness
Comes the very strength of the light.