We had a wonderful Memorial Service! A Beautiful day and evening--- just enough of a nice breeze to fit in with our theme Winds of Change.
Whispers From Heaven by Al Littleton and Brenda Smith
When I left this world without you
I know it made you blue,
Your tears fell so freely
I watched, I know this is true.
While you were weeping,
Days after I passed away.
While all was silent within me,
I saw you kneel to pray.
From this wonderful place called heaven
Where all the pain is gone,
I send a gentle breeze to whisper,
“My loved ones, please go on.”
The peace that I have found here,
Goes far beyond compare---
No rain, no clouds, no suffering---
Just LOVE from everywhere.
You need not be troubled,
Just stay close to God in Prayer,
Someday we’ll be reunited,
My love, His love, surrounds you always,
Everywhere!
We did our service just a little differently this year and had an introduction of our staff present. The service is to Celebrate the life of all our babies. Even you who were not at the service, your babies are included in the celebration. We usually end our announcements of the babies name with and “all of our babies” who have died. We celebrate the lives of babies who left early in the pregnancy after just a few short weeks, others later in the pregnancy, and some born and lived a few short minutes, hours or weeks. A child created exactly the way our creator designed and in his eyes PERFECT!
The lessons learned through your loss may not be noticeable at first, but as time passes, you will see how these lessons change you forever. Most of all, our babies have taught us the value of life. We now know how precious even the shortest time can be. They have taught us trust, “we walk by faith and not by sight.” We have to trust God has a better plan for us, for our family. We are taught humility and find we are so much stronger than we ever thought possible. The last lesson taught is in life and death. That we are living this life to get to our eternal destination, and that is what our babies have done, and will greet us as we gather with them in Eternal life.
Winds of Change, Whispers of Hope!
How quickly the winds change. One minute the winds are quiet and ten minutes later the breeze comes up, and it is blowing so fiercely, it takes your breath away. Our Grief is often like this. At first it is so strong; it feels like it is taking our breath away. Our tears come down and down and down. You wonder how you can possibly have more tears, but only let someone mention your baby, and there they are, more tears. The first days and weeks, the winds are so strong in our loss. As time passes, the wind dies down a little, and the tears come less frequent. We get a chance to “catch our breath”. One day you awaken and the grief doesn’t seem so intense. Things are starting to change. You know it still hurts badly when you think about your baby, but it isn’t quite as intense as the first days after the loss. You might have had trouble sleeping, because your precious baby was always on your mind, and you think, “I really slept pretty good last night.” You find that food goes down a little easier. You might have lost some weight during the aftermath of the loss because food just would not go down. You even start to enjoy some of your favorite foods. You are able to return to your job. At first it isn’t very easy. You have close friends who do not say a word about your loss, and this hurts! Then a co-worker you did not talk to very often comes up to you and says, “I’m so sorry about the loss of your baby. Do you have pictures? I hear you named her Sarah!” You feel such elation that someone has acknowledged your baby. The little baby you had such wonderful hopes and dreams for. A new bond forms with this co-worker. You continue to talk with her because she seems to understand. In some cases, you learn that she also had a loss, and wanted to talk about her baby, but no one even “knew” it happened because it was an early loss. However, you know that it doesn’t matter at what stage the loss occurs there are still feelings of grief that continue forever. You form a great bond and relationship, because you each knows how the loss has affected each of you.
After the winds die down, you begin to think about possibly having another baby. Maybe it was the last thing of your mind, but you start feeling the queasiness of early morning, and find out you are pregnant. At first it might be a feeling of great concern. I don’t think I can go through another pregnancy right now! You have ambivalent feelings about the pregnancy. However, as the days pass, and things seem to be going well, the instinct of motherhood takes over, and your empty aching arms want to hold a baby again. Possibly your loss pregnancy was obtained through invetro and so your loss seemed so final. No chance for a baby. You find out a friend of a friend has a teenage daughter who is pregnant and wants to give the baby up for adoption. You fit the criteria of what this young girl is looking for. WHISPERS OF HOPE! They are always there in so many different ways. You find that working at a day care helps fulfill your empty arms. When you first heard of the job, you couldn’t fathom taking care of someone else’s child, but something made you apply for the job, and you find it is wonderful. You still have hopes for your own baby in the future, but this helps for the present time. Maybe you feel you are “too old” to try again, but there is so much new medical technology, I don’t think you should give up too soon. However, you get involved in a support group, or volunteering for children’s events, and this seems to fulfill the ache in your heart. There are so many things that can happen after a loss. IF THE WINDS BLOW DOWN PART OF YOUR LIFE---YOU KEEP CELEBRATING WITH WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT. Some time you might have to really open your heart to the Winds of Change, but know there is always, Whispers of Hope.
I hope you celebrated Mother’s day in some special way. Remember Father’s day is coming up in June, and all of you Father’s have a right to celebrate that you are a Father also. Have a wonderful Father’s day.