Our October Memorial Service will be held on Wednesday October 13th, 2010 at 7 PM, starting in the hospital chapel. After the service, we will walk to the cemetery in remembrance of all the babies that have died. We will return to the Board Room for refreshments and a chance to add your baby to the TLC quilt. The Quilt hangs all year long in the Hospital chapel. Our theme for this Fall will be “When Hello Meets Goodbye!” I will be at this service and hoping to see many of you that I have worked with over the years. After wards I will help out only if they need my help. Please RSVP to the Birth Center if you are planning on coming, but remember you are always still Welcome without RSVP, if you decide at the last moment. Lucy
When Hello Meets Goodbye! By Lucy Cannon
I usually print my reflections in the Newsletter following our service, and although this will not be the exact words of my Reflections, I would like to write about the Reflections. (We will probably be putting out the Newsletter less frequently than in the past.)
Nothing can be worse than to go in to the office for your regular appointment, and listen to the nurse trying to get your baby’s heart beat. She seems to be having trouble. Usually, she gets it right away. When she tells you the Doctor will be right in, you are already getting scared. You heart is pounding. You are sweating, and you just pray that everything is okay. When the doctor comes in and he tries, and then tells you he is going to send you over for an ultra sound, you already know---the news will not be good. You get the worse news in your life---your baby has died.
What to do next. The Doctor gives you a number of options. You can go over to the hospital now and start the induction of labor, or you can go home, and give it some time; Talking to your spouse/significant other and family about what you should do. It isn’t an easy decision, but what other choice did you have?
The decision to go in the next day and have your “labor induced” is about the only one you can make. The outcome is not going to change.
Going into the hospital is almost as scary as waiting for the terrible news. What is going to happen? Will the people taking care of you understand that this is not easy for you? Will they let you know what is going to happen? Will they be supportive and helpful to you? You manage, but don’t know how you were able to get through the labor and delivery of your stillborn infant. You need time with your baby, you need to be able to say Hello, before you can tell the baby Goodbye.
The story might be a little different. You are scheduled for an Ultra Sound at your regular visit. As you lay on the table, you can see the change in the technician as she scans your baby. Some things you can see like the baby’s heart beat, and the baby’s ribs and back bone, and can tell it is a boy. You are so tickled, but when the technician tells you she is going to have the Radiologist come in right away, you start to panic, but why should you ----even if something is wrong, it can be “fixed.” They take many more pictures, and then have you return to the Doctor’s office where he encourages you to have your spouse or significant other come because the Doctor wants to talk to both of you. You know there is bad news involved, but it couldn’t be “too bad.” However, the Doctors sits you both down and gives you this terrible news. Your baby has a condition that is not compatible with life! You are not sure what that does mean, but he gives you statistics, and the chances of your baby living after birth is really small.
You decide that you want to do everything to give your baby a chance, so you take the pregnancy as far as you can, but the baby is about six weeks early when he/she is born. The baby is on life support, but you can see the baby is not doing well. After talking at length to the Neonatologist, you both decide to take the baby off of life support, and choose to hold him until his little heart stops beating. The stories change many times, but the outcome is always the same. You need time with your precious baby. You hold, you talk, you bath, you dress, and you have family members come and hold and see the newest member of your family. It is the only time you will have with your baby. You need to nurture your newborn infant. .You really wanted a completely different scenario. You wanted to love, hold, dress, feed, your little one, and begin the life time commitment of raising your little one. Instead of being able to do this, you take the time to say Hello. This bittersweet time that you have with your precious little one! Your little one will always be a part of your life, but in a different way.
This Hello meets this Goodbye that must take place. Not what is wanted, but what must be.
The Infant Death Center of Wisconsin is holding a memorial program to honor infants and young children that have died due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early death. The program will be located at the Rothchild Pavilion in Rothchild, Wisconsin. (Wausau area.) The invitation is extended to any family that is suffering the pain of the loss of a child in the central and northern regions of Wisconsin. There is no cost for the program and a light supper is included. REGISTRATION IS REQUIRED! The date is September 19th, 2010 from 2:00 – 5:30 P.M. For more details contact dora.gorski@cssw.org or call 715-218-8424. Register by September 10th.
In Memory of Kierra Marie:
An Angel made in Heaven,
A gift from God Above;
She filled our eyes with teardrops;
She filled our hearts with love.
To those who called, or sent a note,
Or stopped us in the street;
And those who asked God’s blessings,
On a child so frail and sweet.
For endless days in worry,
And countless nights in prayer;
Our hearts are forever grateful,
To all who showed they care.
An Angel make in heaven,
A gift from God above;
Who proved to us the Power of Prayer,
And the strength of our Father’s love.
A Moment With You by Paula Graven (Paula has had numerous losses, some early miscarriages and other babies over 20 weeks. She lives in England, and Has finally had a second child after seven losses.)
I’d planned to spend my life loving you
But now you’re gone just a moment will do!
So I can see you with my eyes,
And feel your touch upon my skin.
I long to hold you in my arms
And tell you things will be all right
When I lay you down at night!
But you were taken away from me
Before your face I got to see.
So now the only I can do, is to
Imagine I am with you!
For there’s nothing in this world
I wouldn’t do,
Just to spend a moment with you.
Your skin it was so soft to touch
Your little nose I loved so much
Your fingers and thumbs were all so small,
8,9,10, you had them all!
I’ll never see you laugh or giggle,
I’ll never know the joys of life
To marry one day and have a wife!
As I looked at your face and picked your name,
I knew my life would never be the same.
Although we didn’t have much time together,
It’s a time I will remember forever,
For my baby boy, you’ll always be
Forever more eternally!